Ok not really, and that isn’t really something anyone should joke about, but there is something seriously wrong with me. After a few failed attempts at trying to get an doctors appointment (I am talking to you evil bitchy receptionist at Midlothian Family Practice) I finally have an appointment this afternoon to figure out what is wrong with me. I feel like this dead squirrel I found on a walk the other day.
On the real real, there is something wrong with my upper abdomen. Every half hour I have an awful nauseating twisty pain that intensifies if I lay down or compress my stomach, so basically I cannot sleep or relax. On top of all that I tend to slouch when I drive, and guess who had to drive from RVA to Farmville and then to Cville the last two days?? This girl. Needless to say I am exhausted, in lots of pain, and am running on zero sleep. I don’t know if I have simply an ulcer, or if I have Ebola and all of the organs in my body are turning to liquid…but either way I am agro.
I cannot find the culprit of my phantom pains, I haven’t been drinking any alcohol (woaaa I know shocker), I haven’t eaten any weird foods or raw meat like some savage, and I haven’t exerted myself except for hot yoga on Monday, but I have done that before! I hope I didn’t yoga so hard that I ruptured my diaphragm or something! #namastesohard. This morning was especially delightful, as you all know I am house and dog sitting for a colleague, and I am obsessed with dogs so this mostly benefits me…except my fury friend does not want me to sleep at all. Shouldn’t he use his 6th sense and know I don’t feel well and I need my beauty rest? I need mending Mooze please!
I am not sure what is ailing me, if any of you are doctors or nurses please self diagnose me because I love being an hypochondriac and pretending I have a lot of illnesses. Hopefully the doctor will cure me this afternoon…till then I hope you all have much happier and healthier Fridays!!